How often does it happen that you are in your zone, busy with cooking, when your partner suddenly spanks your bum? And you feel like ‘WHAT THE FUCK?? Where did that come from?!’
But when you turn around and you see his happy face, you say nothing about it.
Or, when you’re waking up in the morning, in ‘the spoon’ with your man, and then his morning glory rises. You feel it sticking in your bum and you’re like: ‘Noo nooooo, too much! I’m not even awake yet!’ but you tell yourself: ‘Come on, don’t be such a pussy, it’s your man!’ And you say nothing and lie still…
Or when you’re on your way out, to your work, and you want to give your partner a quick kiss, but she wraps her arms around your neck and makes it a looooong kiss, with lots of tongue and even eye contact afterwards!! And you’re on your way out! No time!!
But hey, she’s your woman. And she’s smiles so sweet..
And she’ll definitely feel rejected if you unwrap yourself.
Or if you would pull your head back to stop that kiss.
It’s just not worth the trouble right?
And you don’t have time for shit now! YOU’RE ON YOUR WAY TO WORK!
So you endure it.
You wait until it’s over, but your mind is already out the door.
It’s just a small thingie right, you love your partner and you don’t want to hurt him/her.
After all, her intention is good!
What if I’d tell you that every time you’re enduring your partner’s affection, you’re making him/her less attractive?
What if, every time you join in on that snog, when you’re not feeling it, you are ruining your sexual chemistry a bit more?
Because that moment when you don’t like the way he/she touches you, you’re connecting your partner to a not-nice-experience. So your body registers: ‘NOT YUMMY’.
And slowly but surely, your partner loses his yumminess! And you feel less and less attracted to your partner. You can even feel disgusted by him/her from time to time.
So these small thingies turn into a big thing!
So, if you want that attraction BACK, if you long to feel that yearning to EAT your babe alive again:
speak your mind!!!
Wade through that uncomfortable mud and make time for an honest conversation.
Give each other time (let’s say set a timer at 7 minutes pp) to tell all the ways of touching you don’t like so much. Or when it is just a bit too fast, too strong, too sudden. Or with too much saliva.
And then take another 7 minutes each to tell each other what you DO like a lot. That you love it when he hums in low tones while you lie on his chest. Or how he kisses your forehead when he leaves. Or how she massages your shoulders for a few minutes after dinner.
Or, when you’re getting it ON you know, that he kisses your neck first, and after that bites your ear gently. And that he postpones that moment of THE KISS a while, kissing your cheeks, the back of your neck.. So your lips get to LONG for his!
It might be uncomfortable at first, and yes, it might be hard to hear some of these honest sharings.
But it’s so fucking worth it!!